


The Sun Can Stay Away

by thatkidryder



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Cuddling, First Kiss, Flirting, Huddling For Warmth, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, soft, vague relationship navigation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27333331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatkidryder/pseuds/thatkidryder
Summary: A frost worm attack leaves Caleb heavily injured at the bottom of a dark, icy tunnel, and the Nein have no spells left or means to reach him.... luckily, they happened to run into a Dynasty expedition right before the attack.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 6
Kudos: 216





	The Sun Can Stay Away

There had been trepidation, when the ran into the Dynasty’s expedition, deep in the tundra. Restraint exercised, when Essek revealed his presence, and watched Caleb behind a trained-neutral face. The biting cold had already left Caleb’s cheeks stained an array of red. So, he had no need to hide the additional warmth that came to him, seeing Essek was still alright.

And then, there had been the worm. And the fight. There had been the horrible screeching sound it could make, that would leave you stunned, unable to run or fight or even scream when it grabbed you. Caleb had been in it’s frozen jaws, out of spells, unable to move or act. His companions unleashed their fury to save him.

Then, he had been falling- still unable to will his limbs to move, still unable to cast with the feather that could save his skin. And he fell, down into the hole the monstrosity had emerged from: into the cold and dark earth.

It was the landing that hurt, technically, though the falling was deeply unpleasant. His body pulsed with pain, shattered, probably. For a moment he wondered if he might not be able to breath, if this was it, and he would simply be a corpse laying down here with the last tears of pain frozen just below his eyes. But he gasped out a breath from his bruised torso, and was somehow, still alive. They would reach him. His clever, magnificent friends would reach him. 

Screaming and shouting trickled down the deep hole. The frigid ground quaked around him, and sucked the warmth from his body. He dared not shut his eyes longer than needed to blink, lest his eyelashes be frozen together by the moisture there. For what dragged on for one minute….two….five…. ten…. 13minutesand 47 seconds, the ground rumbled once more, and then sounds from above ceased. He could still see the dot of light far above him, just past the curvature of the tunnel. He wondered if he might still be able to reach a healing potion in his bag. Jester’s cracked and worried voice came into his bleary mind.

_Caleb?_

Jester.

_Are you okay?_

He took a breath in and felt his chest protest the movement of his ribs and sinew. He wheezed and thought to turn over, but his feet and hands seemed gone they were so numb, and his hip immobile from tumbling as he fell.

_We’re all alright and the worm is gone…. please, please say you’re okay._

Caleb bit down on his chapped lips and pushed through the pounding sensations that hounded him, where he still had feeling.

“Not okay, but you are still stuck with me.” He managed. What a predicament. He flexed his unfeeling fingers and pain shot to his mid arm. He tried to lift his head to take a look, and his vision spun and blackened. He laid it back down. “ah…. pretty fucked up.”

He laid in silence, for several minutes, the cold reaching into his belly and turning to mild panic the longer he lay, cold and broken, in the dark. Pain grew sharper as his body succeeded heat. Numbness became stinging, became a cold burn with no flame. A shiver ran through him in a feeble attempt to warm himself. He felt a sprinkling of dust and grit fall onto his face, and blinked it away. A shape was descending the tunnel, all in shadow from the light, growing closer and closer……

“Caleb.” Essek said, and his feet set down from what had been the long, slow hover down into the darkness. Caleb tried to focus his eyes on any features, but could only make out vague shapes. He heard more than saw Essek toss aside a large bundle. “Fjord said he believed you have a healing potion?”

“Ja.” Caleb said, wheezing air into his body, and attempted to indicate. “In my bag.”

Essek’s hands were a dull pressure as they moved over Caleb’s person, carefully moving layers aside and shifting the bag for access to the opening. Caleb smiled, Essek’s breath and proximity perhaps doing more to warm him than it should. “You know, I had been wondering how to get you all over me….. This is not what I had in mind.” Caleb said.

He briefly wondered if they were still playing this game, if it was still a game. It certainly wasn't anymore, as far as Caleb was concerned. Essek chuckled.

“Well, we _are_ alone, far from where either the Empire or the Dynasty, or other prying eyes might catch us….” Essek said. Caleb heard the uncorking of a bottle. “I’d say aside from the freezing and mortal peril, you’ve not done too badly.”

Essek gingerly held Caleb's head, a thick glove pillowing his grip. Caleb sipped as carefully as he could at the potion that Essek held to his lips. The healing the rushed through Caleb as life was restored to him. He flexed his toes in their boots and gripped his hands around whatever they could grab. One found Essek’s forearm and tilted the potion further as his strength ebbed back into double digits. Caleb’s body settled back onto the floor, bones starting to knit back together and his deepest bruises dulling in their pain. Essek took the emptied bottle and set it aside.

Caleb sat up, gripping Essek for support until his weight settled on his bottom. Caleb winced at the lingering pain and dug into his components. He cast out his globes of light, carefully dimming them when Essek squinted.

“Oh, sorry.” Caleb mumbled. He noted the bundle of bedrolls, blankets, and probably food that had accompanied Essek on his descent to Caleb. “Rescue party?”

“Can you stand?” Essek said, already rising. Caleb tested his limbs, and found everything to be workable, if still deeply unpleasant to engage.

“Ja.” He said, and leaned on one arm to push himself up. His face contorted in pain ad his weight came to rest on an incomplete fracture, and he faltered.

“Or-or perhaps stay sitting for now.” Essek quickly interjected, and began casting some familiar shapes in the air. “I cannot bring us back to the surface today, so we are stuck here for the night regardless.” Essek said, and Caleb sighed as he let his weight settle back down. At least he wasn’t going to freeze to death. Essek pressed a finger to his temple and sent a message.

“Caleb is injured, but cognizant. We will return in the morning, as soon as we are able.” Essek said. Caleb found himself smiling up at him. Of course there was still much to unpack between them. It had been months since he’d last seen Essek, longer since they had been alone together **.** Of course, being alone together did not mean anything would happen. But surely..... Essek couldn't have been the only one capable of coming to his rescue. Beauregard certainly would be able. But here he was.

“How are the others?” Caleb said, filling the air. Essek nodded and began to undo the ties holding the bundle of blankets and hides together.

“Situated for the time being. Unfortunately the cleric traveling with our expedition will not be…. Continuing to their next life.” Essek said. The bundle fell open and Essek began organizing a bed. “But, Caduceus and Jester were able to see the rest of my companions and your’s through for whatever lies in store for the remainder of the journey.”

“That is unfortunate.” Caleb said. “Did you know them?” Essek shrugged.

“Not parti-“ He began, and then furrowed his brow and sighed. "Jester." Essek said. He seemed more distressed listening to Jester's latest message than recounting the death of his countryman. Caleb laughed, before realizing how morbid it was to do so. Essek cracked a smile and shook his head.

“Something about cuddling up for warmth?” Caleb said. “I assume.” Essek chuckled, and Caleb let the fluttering of butterflies in his stomach flit through his aches and pains. Essek rolled a thick woven blanket into a pillow. He raised a brow at Caleb.

“You underestimate her creativity.” Essek said, and Caleb smiled.

Caleb was little help in setting out the bedding, but he did manage to warm some rations and take stock of their surroundings. The tunnel continued at a level horizontal angle, off into the darkness. Caleb got lost staring down it, imagining the icy maw appearing and closing on them in an instant. He shivered, and dug in his bag for the silver wire, only then remembering he lacked the slot to cast it. Essek followed Caleb's eye and shivered.

“If I never see another creature of that scale, I will be satisfied.” Essek said. Caleb bit his lip. 'I could show you something on a slightly smaller scale'- No. That would be no good. Caleb swallowed, letting the dread of further worm attacks be replaced by questioning if this was the time he should try and say something to Essek in regards to their feelings for each other. He reminded himself that for all of Essek’s flirting, there might be no genuine interest there. Caleb chewed his cheek and finished the spell, his fingers working a little better now.

Caleb said nothing, in the end, and moved to settle himself next to Essek on the pile of blankets. He winced noticeable as he tried to get comfortable.

“Ah, perhaps it would be best for you to lie down?” Essek offered.

“No-no.” Caleb said, rubbing at his own forearm. “I wouldn’t want to leave you without company by just falling asleep.” Essek blinked and laughed. Caleb smiled, charmed by how the amber lights moved across his deep purple eyes. Essek’s eyes flicked down for an instant before returning to Caleb’s.

“I think you might be hypothermic faster than asleep if I let you bed down without an additional heat source.”Essek said, and waved a hand to draw back a corner of the blanket pile. Caleb smiled shyly to himself. It was too fragile, what they had, to try and suss things out right now. Not when there would be no way to find privacy again, and they were sure to be separated again post-haste. Essek paused briefly, and Caleb saw the confidence drain from his face. “Of course, I would never impose such close accommodations if doing so causes you any discomfort- I am fairly certain we can come up with something if you would prefer-“

“No- _no.”_ Caleb shook his head. “No, it’s _fine,_ Essek.” Caleb shifted slowly and pulled back the other corner of the blankets. “Please- so long as you are also comfortable.”

Essek seemed to realize that Caleb’s hesitation had not been a rejection of the suggestion, and relaxed again, joining him in getting into bed.

“As much as I appreciate the commitment to my comfort, it is no trouble.” Essek settled beside Caleb, and then took a breath as he lifted the blankets slightly beside him. “Come. It was…. Rather pointedly recommended by Caduceus that we try and share body heat, being so far underground.”

Caleb felt his skin warm significantly as he scooted closed to Essek, positive now Essek’s features were flushing to the same darker shade of his wind-bitten extremities.

Bundled under many layers and the thick blankets atop them, Caleb felt his body relax as he no longer had to actively try and stay warm. In their cocoon, Caleb let himself carefully press against Essek, mindful not to impose too much. Their boots shifted against each other as Essek rolled onto his side, bringing his face as close as he dared to Caleb’s. Caleb caught a quietly happy smile on his lips before letting the last of this globular lights fade.

While his body was well warmed, Caleb still felt the stinging cold wherever his face met the air. He wrapped his scarf up over his head, covering well up over his nose. Essek similarly hunkered down as close to the blankets as he could, though Caleb assumed there would be no real relief for his long ears. Caleb lay pondering in the silent darkness for long seconds that stretched into a minute, and finally unwound his scarf several times. He carefully draped the excess across their shared space, like a long blanket over both their exposed faces. Essek snickered and adjusted the scarf over his ears.

“Thank you.” He whispered, and Caleb’s heart beat wildly in his chest, suddenly far more encouraged to act. Caleb turned his head, unseeing and left to wonder if Essek was watching him or not. He felt Essek’s warm breath growing closer to his skin, and turned his head towards Essek. Caleb gingerly touched at one of Essek’s gloved hands, close to his chest. Essek’s fingers opened to his easily, and held them to his heart. Clearly, it was pounding as hard as Caleb’s to be felt through all the layers. Essek’s other hand crept up towards Caleb’s face, and he felt the fine leather of Essek's gloves shift the scarf down over Caleb’s nose and lips. He couldn’t see, but he still closed his eyes and lifted his chin.

Essek’s lips were dry, but warm. Chaste and lingering in their press. They could have this: secret moments away from sight and consequence. Caleb squeezed Essek’s hand, nearly shifting onto his side, but was firmly reminded by his body that he’d just fallen Gods only knew har far into the frozen earth. He hummed in light frustration at the restrictive pain, and Essek’s light kiss drew back and waited, breath coming in a soft heat over Caleb’s skin.

...had he done something wrong? Damn this guessing. Caleb opened his eyes, and with his free hand threw up more amber lights, unwilling to risk overstepping. Essek’s eyes were an inch from his, blinking quickly in the glow. Caleb’s body felt light as if in freefall once more. Oh he had fallen. Fallen hard and landed on a pillow of gravity. And Essek had followed him- Caleb wished to know if Essek had fallen too, or was he just ensuring Caleb would provide a soft landing when he needed it? Caleb tugged pointedly at Essek’s grip on his hand, and let his voice drop low and rough.

“Don’t stop.” Caleb whispered, and met Essek again. Essek squeezed Caleb’s hand, pushing himself up slightly to better move his lips over Caleb’s. Caleb lamented the temperature and arid conditions. He lamented the ache in his bones while Essek was at long last pliant and pressed against him. Essek breathed over Caleb’s lower lip and Caleb nuzzled against him. Caleb kissed him again and again, encompassed by the shared heat of their lives. When would he have this chance again? Of course the opportunity to act this thing between them had only come when Caleb was too injured, and the location too extreme, to actually act on it as badly as he wanted to. Another frustrated sound rumbled from his chest, and Essek paused again. Caleb sighed and shut his eyes briefly. This was the best he could hope for.

“You know," Caleb said, "circumstance has a funny way of bringing us together.” Essek released Caleb's hand and held his palm to Caleb's cheek. Caleb watched 120 years of life focus in on him, and wondered if Essek was anywhere near as frustrated and forlorn as he felt. Caleb snickered despite himself.

Essek’s life was precarious, regardless of where they went, or who they were with. Caleb was waltzing in and out of the crosshairs of the same people who would not mourn for Essek Theylss. This was all he could hope for- more secluded moments like this, safely tucked in the bosom of danger, away from the defenders of the status quo. Caleb pushed forward and nestled his face to the heat of Essek's neck. Caleb felt him swallow. 

“A million possibilities," Essek said, his fingers barely brushing Caleb's hair. "and they all just so happened to bring me to you.” Caleb smiled and decided to kiss him again. Caleb's shoulder supported his weight as long as if could, until the soreness made him flinch and he laid back down. Essek chuckled. “Your tenacity in the face of great injury is endearing, though a little worrying.”

“Opportunities to be tenacious are fleeting.” Caleb said with a sigh. “And after all, I couldn't be sure you'd reciprocate.” Essek snorted, and nodded with a long sigh. He settled his head under Caleb’s chin and began to move the scarf back over their faces. Caleb turned his head and shrugged it off. He nudged Essek’s chin back up to face him, but let the amber globes fade.

“I don’t want to stop kissing you.” Caleb said. Caleb caught one more glimpse of Essek's smile before the light was gone and Essek leaned up to him again. It was the most fair thing in the world, that they who had done such wrongs would never have the simple joy of an easy romance. Essek’s face remained close as he settled into the bundled blankets under their heads. Close enough to kiss softly as each of them pleased.

“If you recover and we both survive, I will aspire to create more chances.” Essek said. Caleb hummed and pondered at the pain his shoulder had protested with earlier.

Fuck it.

Caleb grit his teeth and raised his arm around Essek’s shoulders, wincing and screwing his eyes shut as his joint screamed in bruised resentment. Essek moved quickly and carefully to accommodate the movement, but huffed when Caleb tried to pull him closer into a more intimate embrace. Essek carefully levered himself away, forcing Caleb's arm to slide off, harmless and roiling with pain. Caleb felt Essek's breath hot on his face as he leaned over Caleb, indulgant for a moment, boxing him in with his arms and letting the blankets fall away. Their cocoon broken, cold air crept back into Caleb's limbs and he shivered. Damn this cold!

What he would do in that moment to be pain free in a proper bed with this man. Essek did not kiss him, but hissed in his ear.

“This is _not_ the time to push yourself.” Essek said.

“We do not have the luxury to be without some pain.” Caleb said, but did not push himself further, feeling a pulsing in this arm. “I know my limits.” Caleb said, and leaned up to Essek.

But, the drow remained just beyond his reach. When Caleb relented that Essek wasn't going to play along with taking things further, he let his head drop back onto their makeshift pillow with a sigh. After a moment shivering, he felt Essek shift back to his side and pulling the blankets back up.It dawned on him that he may have just cost himself the rest of a rare evening. 

“....I wish to know your limits, so I do not surpass them.” Caleb said. Essek was silent for a moment, and Caleb felt an anxious chill mix with the heat in his stomach.

“….I am not of a mind to inflict on you, more pain.” Essek said. “I have no interest in arguments to justify further misfortune for the sake of a few moments of fleeting happiness.” He was quiet, and the searing in Caleb’s shoulder faded. He nosed to Essek’s lips again, and breathed over them softly. Essek let their cheeks brush, and then their noses. His eyelashes flitted over Caleb’s skin, and Caleb wondered if he would burst into a hundred sparklers with the joy Essek brought him. Essek kissed him sweetly, lingering, dry and warm, despite the freezing world around them. Essek shivered and moved Caleb closer, but was tense and turned in on himself. Caleb pressed his cheek to Essek's forehead and wondered if he would ever do so again. Essek took a deep breath, and did not speak. Caleb turned as kissed his temple. Essek chuckled softly, and took his breath again.

“It would not do for me to pretend things are uncomplicated, but… " Essek began, "I selfishly choose to believe that I might see you again in a similar, more pleasant, context to this without rushing or endangering ourselves.” Essek grew still, but for his breathing and where his hand moved nervously over Caleb's chest. Caleb arranged his scarf one last time over their heads, and Essek chuckled softly. “….I have no right to ask you to trust me.” Essek said.

“You seek what you want.” Caleb said plainly. “I can trust in that.” Essek’s grip tightened in Caleb’s thick coat. Essek's breath was soft and fast, like he was controlling it carefully.

“….Am I incorrect in thinking this is something we both want?” Essek said.

“I cannot answer that for you.” Caleb said.

Essek’s grip softened, and Caleb felt fatigue creep into the forefront of his mind. Essek was warm against him and all around him, settled where gravity had nestled him against Caleb. He didn't know if Essek was only looking to sate his own needs, or if Caleb's joy ranked in his priorities.

“At least provide me the grace of pretending that this, somehow, might be okay.” Essek said quietly.

"More than okay." Caleb said. It might all turn sour, but to play at pretend? To steal nights to last until the next and have some selfish motivation to ensure things improve? Caleb took his hand from where it was tight on his lapel. "I want this again." Caleb said, speaking close enough to Essek's lips to indulge in one last lingering kiss. Their lips stuck as they came apart, and Caleb wondered if Essek also found that amusing. "Whenever we are in agreement that it is safe to have this, and I will probably want you again after that." Caleb said.

Essek laughed, pressing his nose to Caleb's again.

"Then there is nothing to be concerned over when it comes to us."

**Author's Note:**

> Based on years of camping in the winter, and being SO MUCH warmer when there's another body to SNUGGLE UP with


End file.
